Valentines Day Pillows Sources
February 12th, 2010 by hotel_linens
I give Slow Love five stars for its ability to encourage healing in the areas of love and sexuality. Several years ago I put “thaw this frozen heart” on my to-do list next to items like “finish taxes” and “get a salad spinner.” I was never able to remove the most important item from my list because I just didn’t know how to go about defrosting my solid core, which usually felt sad whenever I even contemplated the idea of romance. But fortunately I was able to listen my heart, which ultimately led me to read this book, perhaps because it resonates with the intelligence of both the mind and the heart.
Powell writes largely from a meditative state of consciousness, in a friendly but professional manner. That’s part of the reason that even someone like me (I’ve been living a monk-like existence for several years now, avoiding the insanity and hyperactivity of modern sexual relationships) can benefit from this book. One of the many nice experiences that I had from reflecting on this book was actually laughing about a memory that, until recently, felt like a wound. My perception of myself shifted from that of a victim to that of someone who simply lacked awareness.
Slow Love should be required reading for anyone who has suffered from the influence of Western ideas regarding sexuality. Most Westerners know, consciously or unconsciously, that there’s something very wrong or missing from conventional sexual interactions. Until one finds this book, that awareness may happen only briefly during a poignant moment during a film, upon hearing the words of a song, or while recalling the memory of once being loved in the right way. I like the way that Powell takes this awareness and expands it until it creates a paradigm shift internally.
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February 12th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
I give Slow Love five stars for its ability to encourage healing in the areas of love and sexuality. Several years ago I put “thaw this frozen heart” on my to-do list next to items like “finish taxes” and “get a salad spinner.” I was never able to remove the most important item from my list because I just didn’t know how to go about defrosting my solid core, which usually felt sad whenever I even contemplated the idea of romance. But fortunately I was able to listen my heart, which ultimately led me to read this book, perhaps because it resonates with the intelligence of both the mind and the heart.
Powell writes largely from a meditative state of consciousness, in a friendly but professional manner. That’s part of the reason that even someone like me (I’ve been living a monk-like existence for several years now, avoiding the insanity and hyperactivity of modern sexual relationships) can benefit from this book. One of the many nice experiences that I had from reflecting on this book was actually laughing about a memory that, until recently, felt like a wound. My perception of myself shifted from that of a victim to that of someone who simply lacked awareness.
Slow Love should be required reading for anyone who has suffered from the influence of Western ideas regarding sexuality. Most Westerners know, consciously or unconsciously, that there’s something very wrong or missing from conventional sexual interactions. Until one finds this book, that awareness may happen only briefly during a poignant moment during a film, upon hearing the words of a song, or while recalling the memory of once being loved in the right way. I like the way that Powell takes this awareness and expands it until it creates a paradigm shift internally.
February 14th, 2010 at 5:09 am
This is mostly my experience relevant to the content of the book, more than it is a direct review. Many of the suggestions made in this book, for people to try to learn and transition towards, are actually the way some of us naturally experience our sexuality.
I was confused about sex most of my life. Could never identify with the popular culture, felt like a complete outsider as a teenager – not getting what all the dating and obsessing was about, why everyone was so excited about sex and attraction. Always wondered who I was sexually attracted to. Tried to fit in but always felt like a fraud and deeply deceptive. Was scared and ashamed that something was very wrong with me and that I was broken in some fundamental way. Thought I must be horribly repressed, shy, or gay. Never experienced anything I could describe as a sexual urge. Tried masturbating, never got the point, never did anything for me. The concept of needing “sexual release” simply has no referent in my internal world. Never in my life have I looked at a person and had the thought that I desired to have sex with them. When I already feel really close to and intimate with someone, I have urges to cuddle, touch lovingly, look them in the eyes and give and receive massages.
A couple of years ago I discovered the idea of asexuality and it was tremendously liberating. To think that I was not broken and that it was okay to not desire genital intercourse, or find anyone sexually attractive. Since I decided I would let myself be asexual, I have done more experimentation with sexuality than ever before, because I felt secure in the knowing that I only need to follow my own natural impulses and not what anyone says sex should look like.
I find myself deeply satisfied with luxuriating in sensual touching and kissing for a long, long time, going very slow, exchanging movement and rest a lot, making lots of eye contact and connecting with the heart and love that is there, communicating and dancing together the whole time. Genital involvement is still a non-issue, I don’t see it as particularly significant, and I have still never experienced any desire to ‘come’ or escalate towards some point where the energy becomes unbearable and has to be released. Going nowhere just totally, totally makes sense to me.
So, reading this book, I once again felt validated in how I experience things, and encouraged that it’s possible to share love and closeness in ways other than through “conventional sex”.
February 15th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
James Powell takes you through the magical world of Polynesian lovemaking where you will learn how to truly reconnect with your partner spiritually and physically. “Slow Love” redefines lovemaking and takes the pressure off performance and outcome. You learn about historical Polynesian relationships, marriage and family life. Then James takes various aspects and shows you how to easily incorporate them into a Western lifestyle, from breathing exercises to sensual positions.
If your lovemaking has taken a backseat in your relationship, you’ll find no better guide to helping you achieve the intimacy and enjoyment you want to have with your sweetheart or spouse. Your hearts will be reunited! Highly recommended for committed couples who want to transform their relationship for life.
February 17th, 2010 at 4:39 am
We can all learn something eloquent and beautiful about love making from this book. Truly knowing and understanding your partner can make for a wonderful experience and the best way to know your partner is to first know yourself and only then can you be true with another.
I really appreciate that Powell speaks of slowing everything down and really enjoying not only the motions but the emotions and to enjoy them means to go slowly.
This is a beautiful book about love, understanding and loving not only the one you are with but yourself as well.
February 18th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
In the Preface to Slow Love: A Polynesian Pillow Book, the author invites us to begin to explore the movement of desire within ourselves and discover its relationship to our capacity for desirelessness. Such a way of loving is one of integrating our spiritual and animal natures. The South Sea islanders were able to do this because of their intimacy with the sense of touch from infancy, which comes naturally to children raised in societies where they are in constant contact with their mothers’ skin. Many studies have shown that these infants develop differently. The South Sea approach to sex mirrors and builds upon this capacity to blend peace and passion. There are so many sex manuals about stimulation, but this one is unique in inviting us to integrate it with inner stillness.